Have you ever had that voice in your head telling you that you can’t do something?
Common phrases I hear from clients are:
“You are stupid. You can’t do it. You're too old to wear that! You aren’t good enough, you don’t deserve this.”
It’s called your inner critic and most of us have one. The more we listen to it, the more we believe it, which can leave us feeling sad, worthless, and afraid to follow our dreams because we think we are destined to fail.
You may have also heard the words 'Imposter Syndrome’, something which is perpetuated by a lack of confidence and the inner critic which says you are not good enough.
Imposter Syndrome can leave you feeling inadequate and full of self-doubt because you believe you’re not capable or worthy of being in a certain job, lifestyle or situation.
I know how debilitating these feelings can be because I have felt them myself and I never felt it more than when I left my job at the age of 56 to follow my dream to set up my own company and retrained as a therapist.
Now 73, I’m proof that you can start a new career at any stage of life and be successful.
As you get older, people think you should slow down and settle for the life you have, but that doesn’t have to be the case.
When I gave up my job as HR Director at a FTSE 100 company it was absolutely terrifying but there was something inside of me that told me I had to do it. I successfully battled Imposter Syndrome and my inner critic voice which told me I wasn’t good enough. That's why I'm doing what I do today and this is why this year’s International Women’s Day campaign #EachforEqual struck a chord with me.
Being a successful therapist, I get to use my knowledge to help women believe that they can do it too, and that they are good enough, even when they hit a bump in the road.
Today, I live an abundant life. Along with keeping myself fit, healthy and happy, I'm also my own boss, enjoying a career where I help other people to achieve what they want out of life.
Continually learning, it fills me with so much joy when clients tell me they have put those tools into use and have overcome whatever is stopping them from being happy and fulfilled.
International Women’s Day represents being responsible for your own thoughts and actions, challenging stereotypes and celebrating women’s achievements to create a gender equal world.
To give you an idea of how I can help you to silence your inner critic and say goodbye to Imposter Syndrome, here are some tips from my book, How to Become a Professional Wonder Woman and Keep Your Sanity.
Make the voice of your inner critic small. If it’s colourful, make it black and white. Change it into a cartoon character, small animal or insect. If it has sound, make the sound quiet or funny.
Put the image outside of yourself and if you want to get rid of it completely use your imagination to dispose of it.
Find a voice and image that will encourage you in difficult situations.
Feel the fear and do it anyway. Women who look confident feel afraid and nervous at times and have self-doubt, but they do not let these feelings stop them. In other words, they push beyond their comfort zone. I remember when I first attended boardroom meetings I would listen and stay quiet for fear of saying the wrong thing when I should have trusted my instincts.
Ask a good friend or someone to give you daily encouragement.
Challenge yourself every day to do something that you have been putting off doing and then treat yourself. See it’s not all hard work!
Know your value. By believing in yourself, tapping into your strengths and saying “I can” you can silence that inner critic and achieve great things.
Is your inner critic too loud, or do you recognise that you’re experiencing imposter syndrome which is holding you back from having an abundant life like mine? I offer a free, no obligation, 20-minute consultation where we can discuss in more detail how I can specifically help you.
I can also help you with anxiety, stress, weight issues, and a lack of confidence, which can all be connected to your inner critic.
Read more stories about how I support women to live a more fulfilling life.
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